Madonna NFT porn is latest filthy attention grab

Madonna, I beg you, please stop expressing yourself.

For the Material Girl’s latest desperate, filthy arts-and-crafts project, she has released three NFTs (or nonfungible tokens, the dumb internet trend that I refuse to accept or understand) of a 3-D-animated version of herself completely nude, spread-eagle and giving birth to centipedes and full-size trees.

And it’s not even Arbor Day.

Like a porn scene from “Westworld,” a fembot Madonna sits on a metal operating table in a sterile lab while Central Park exits, in clown-car fashion, from between her legs. Her song “Justify My Love” plays in the background.

Huh. The viewer, nauseated and annoyed, begins to reassess Madge’s performance in “Evita”: It was actually pretty good.

After I watched the predictably deranged video clips, created in collaboration with somebody who chooses to be called Beeple, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I made it through the wilderness, somehow I made it through — ew! Ew!

Prepare yourself. As if we are living in a futuristic dystopian hellscape in which Earth is ruled by hippie sex robots, Madonna’s privates have been re-created via computer scans. They make a lot more than a cameo appearance.

You don’t have to be a snooty art critic to figure out the nasty NFTs. This ain’t the sort of nuanced, mysterious, layered artwork that you stare at and try to guess its meaning. Called “Mother of Creation,” it is, perhaps, the most obvious piece on motherhood and rebirth ever concocted. Next to Garden O’ Madge, Georgia O’Keeffe’s conspicuously shaped flowers are subtle.

Listen, I love a stunt. But Madonna’s stunts get laughs and sighs now because her whole life is a freakin’ stunt.     

She’s barely recorded a solid new song since, I dunno, “4 Minutes” with Justin Timberlake 14 years ago. However, she is a seasoned pro at seeking out ways to rip her clothes off and self-righteously call it art. There was her 1992 book “Sex,” and her raunchy movie “Body of Evidence.” She posed topless on Instagram in April and last February.

Starved for attention, five days ago Madge tweeted at Pope Francis and asked if they could meet to discuss her “blasphemous behavior.” The pontiff, knowing ancient Latin texts are more interesting, didn’t reply. He Holy Ghosted her.

The woman who burned crosses in music videos is begging for the Vatican to condemn her. Sad.